Friday, October 21, 2005

Latin, menial work, autumn, and aimlessness - excerpts from letters






WHAT DO I DO?

I spend time with my roommates, watch a few movies here and there, lift weights,occasionally work at the dining hall, am constantly bombarded with questions about future plans, and study latin. I turned 21 on Monday and got a blender, a juicer, some new chord pants, and a nice shirt and tie. I also got a pictureframe that I put a polaroid of me and my parents in. Lane's currently visiting from his Buddhist Monastery abode in California for mine and my father's birthday. Daddy dearest turns 60 tomorrow. Not a whole lot else going on,though I keep trying unsuccessfully to find time where I can take a trip somewhere.
I didn't observe Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur, so I guess that makes me a bad Jew (not that I ever do). I've been too busy thinking about things that I have to do but can't bring myself to do. I often feel like I'm headed down a path to homelessness. Intensive Latin is overwhelming (even though I don't even do as much as I'm supposed to for the class), and I get nauseas thinking about the applications I have to fill out for internships and jobs for when I graduate (even though there’s only two and both are relatively easy). I don't know how I'll ever survive. It’s a running joke in my life that I lived in a plastic bubble until just recently. Present times for me are like being in a Woody Allen movie with all of the neurosis, minus most of the fun.
I gave my friend Allen (the Australian exchange-student) a concentration pill a couple of weeks ago in the hopes that he would write a screenplay we mutually conceptualized. Considering I haven't been able to write one to date (because God knows why), the plan was for him to write a masterpiece that we could both take credit for and become famous. He would do all the work, I'd do all the musing, and together we'd ride one another's coattails all the way to the top. I guess I'm always looking toward other people to save me, but maybe one day I'll learn the moral of the story that says only I can save myself (or Jesus, depending on who you ask).

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