Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Barista Swagger -- September, 2012

Dear Management,

There is a girl named Alexis who works at your fine establishment, the Claire de Lune, whom I now have a not-so-secret-crush on. My friends gave her a silly note earlier today, of which I was the impetus. If you could relay this message to her along with my email and number, that would be stellar.
Thank you.

Jared Robbins
President of the Slovakian Bee Keeping Club


Dear Jared,

We do not have an Alexis that works at the Claire de Lune.
Are you sure you have the right coffee shop?



Dear Management,

I realize now I have been the subject of a cruel and unusual (but creative) prank. My friends went to great lengths in fabricating an exchange of notes with the Asian looking girl working today around noon (whose name isn't actually Alexis). Apologies for the confusion. I still think the barista in question has serious swagger, whatever her name may be. Feel free to still pass my info along. I was the spectacled boy who repeatedly came up for water refills.

Friday, May 25, 2012

May, 2012 -- UC-Riverside Crime Alerts

Several times a week I receive alerts from the UC Police Department. Just got this one:

To: UCR Community
Re: Suspicious Subject at HUB C-Store

On 5-22-12 at about 7:00pm, a subject entered the HUB C-store. C-Store staff saw as he walked to the register, he walked closely behind a female customer and had one hand in his pants pocket and appeared to be touching his groin area. 

On 5-24-12 at about 3:50pm the same subject entered the store and purchased an item. After leaving and standing outside, he had one hand in his pant pocket and appeared to be touching groin area. He was not looking at staff or anyone specific while doing this.

The subject has been in the store before; once yelling at staff when the line was too long and left the store, another time when he spat on the floor and another when he grabbed a bag of chips and threw it on the floor. 

Friday, April 06, 2012

Six Months in Pictures

 view from my department building
 daily walk
 standard breakfast
 wind farms on way to palm springs/joshua tree
 brother's birthday gift to me
 new year's eve in ann arbor
painting in the garage

Missed Scholarship Opportunity - April, 2012

There was a scholarship opportunity that came across my desk. It was intended for married persons, but sorta/kinda open to everyone. While I considered applying, I ultimately did not. Below is my un-submitted essay:

My name is Jared Robbins and I am an MFA candidate in Creative Writing at UCR. I am not married, but not by choice. It's just that I haven't found a mate yet who fits the bill. And not by any lack of effort on my part -- Lord knows, I've been looking. In malls, bars, under seats; on airplanes, dating websites, and the lot. But one knows that you can't force these things.
That said, I still believe the Neumann scholarship would prove of great benefit to me. I am a writer; writers are poor; and single writers are people too. I walk through family housing every day on my way to school. It is the most serene part of my day -- that is, when it's not raining. There are always half-clothed little kids running around and laundry blowing on the line; I see the mountains in the distance and imagine I'm in a bucolic faraway land.
My work is interdisciplinary: I write drama, short fiction, and poetry. Regular motifs include, but are not limited to, loss of innocence, brotherly bonds, unrequited love, eccentric characters, and thick spectacles. It is informed by a diverse background that includes a bachelors degree in political-science, a grandpa who lived to the age of 97, and a year spent teaching in Asia.
The Neumann scholarship would enable me to focus more on my writing and less on determining which Subway sandwiches are still on special for five dollars.
Thank you.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Riverside Life - Jan. 2012

-A buttermilk biscuit with blackberry jam and a glass of chocolate milk makes for a nice snack.

-Too much time on my hands to think, and now that reading and writing have become my area of study, they no longer fit as well as hobbies.

-Riverside works on a lot of levels (the university is swell, there's a Trader Joe's, I live in a spacious house with a pool and pay reasonable rent), but not so much on others (it has the worst reputation on the planet; and there's a severe dearth of college-educated cosmopolitan twentysomethings painting the town on a Friday night).

-One space after a period.

-Fish Tank was a good movie.